Monday, December 9, 2013

A New Chapter

Craft shows are over for the season. For the amount of stress they caused, I'm really going to have to think about next year. Christmas will be here in a couple of weeks and I'm no where ready. The tree is decorated, the windows have lights, but the rest of the decorations aren't up yet. I'm changing things up this year, less is more. I'm going to be very particular with my decorating this year.

You know the saying, "The Hardest Thing to see is Right in Front of Your Eyes." Well that happened to me within the past few days. For a very long time I had always felt something was missing from my life. It took me years to find what I thought it was.... and it was here for a while....then slowly began to disappear without explanation.  I went through a whole range of emotions always ending with an unhappy feeling. 

Something clicked and I had to find out, I opened a line of communication. Plain and simple, no. Never intentions of a relationship. I'm fine with that, I really am. Quite relieved actually. I feel as though a weight has been lifted because all of this time I thought it was me. It never was. I wish it wouldn't have gone on as long as it had. I wish the falseness, ( for lack of a better word) was never given. God has given each of us a voice, use it. It is better to live with the truth (even though it may hurt at first) than it is to live a lie. Eventually I will talk to my family about it. They've been played too. That hurts me the most.  

I've closed a very long chapter in my book. I was happy to receive the answers to my questions. The chapter just went on for a few more pages than it should have. I am happy! Others have even noticed a difference in my demeanor and want to know what has changed. My next chapter has just begun.

My husband drives me crazy, I don't understand him. I drive my husband crazy. He doesn't understand me. My son, our son. He is my joy, my life. 
Around 1:30 yesterday afternoon, my guys returned from their hunting weekend at camp. When I heard them yell hello as soon as the garage door opened, my heart skipped a beat and after hugs & kisses and listening to the hunting story again, it was right there, it's been here the whole entire time. They are the ones that complete me.